Historically Hysterical: A Review of Adam Selzer's The Smart Aleck's Guide to American History

Title: The Smart Aleck's Guide to American History
Author: Adam Selzer
Edition: Paperback (Delacorte Press, 2009)
Pages: 326
How I Came By This Book: Adam Selzer was one of the authors who came to the Teen Book Festival in Rochester earlier this year. I snagged this book from the library before it was put into the display case because after flipping through it I realized that if I didn't read it right away I was going to explode.

About the Author: Adam Selzer is the author of How to Get Suspended and Influence People, Pirates of the Retail Wasteland, I Put a Spell on You, and Andrew North Blows Up the World. He grew up in the suburbs of Des Moines and now lives in downtown Chicago, where he can write in a different coffee shop every day without even leaving his neighborhood. In addition to his work as a tour guide and assistant ghostbuster (really), he moonlights as a rock star. Check him out on the Web at www.adamselzer.com.

Synopsis: Do you know America? No, I mean, do you really know America? Would you recognize John Adams in a lineup? Do you have any idea what was going on around here before 1776? Hmmm, I thought not. Well, you really need this book.

With the help of this book, you'll learn a nifty mnemonic device that will let you memorize all the forgettable presidents between Lincoln and Van Buren in order! (Spoiler alert: it involves pickles!) With the help of this book, you'll learn to concisely explain what World War I was all about. (Okay, just kidding about that last one. No one can do that.)

Not only will The Smart Aleck's Guide to American History increase your sorry historical knowledge, it will crack you up and give you material you can use to throw your teachers off-balance for entire class periods. Identify their lies! Point out their half-truths! And possibly, just possibly, get some extra credit.

Review: I'm a huge history nerd. No, really. I have a B.A. in history. I read books about history. I even bore you all with facts about history (see my Villain Week Day Six post). But you know what I don't do? American history. Yes, yes, I know. I'm an American. I should know this stuff. The thing is, that I do know it. I just don't really find it interesting. I was inundated and indoctrinated with American history for, you know, 13 years of my life. (A big shout-out to my teachers from Kindergarten to 12th grade!) What I want to learn about is other people. Other periods of time. So why in the hell did I find myself devouring a book about American history? Because it's frakking hilarious.

I've never read any of Selzer's books, but his humor makes me wish that I had. In fact, I'd like to see him do other Smart Aleck's guides (perhaps Ancient Greece???? *pleading looking in my eyes*). For those of you who are looking at the title or the synopsis and going, "A book about American history? Bor-ing." you are so wrong it's not even funny.

From the first page, Selzer has you laughing out loud (and learning!) with his recounting of the history of the U.S. of A. Going from the earliest parts of history to the 2008 election, Selzer takes the reader on a fascinating romp through the ages. With features like "Stupid Hats of History," mnemonic devices like "Have this pickle, then five pickles, buddy!" (Harrison, Tyler, Polk, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, and Buchanan), and devoting the penultimate chapter to going through the years 1947-1989 using Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire," Selzer takes what I (and many others) see as a dry boring subject and turns it into something you can enjoy.

My favorite part of this book are the mini-quizzes at the end of each chapter to help you "review." You'll find such deep questions as:

• Are you going to eat that pickle?
• Who was better-looking, Lewis or Clark?
• What are some good ways to defend yourself against Civil War reenactors who disagree with your interpretation of the war? Keep in mind: some of these guys never wash their uniforms so they can get that authentic odor. If you come up with a good answer to this, send it in. Fast. Please. And keep in mind that we've tried restraining orders and holographic ghosts of Abe Lincoln.
• What sort of mustache would you have grown during the war? (Girls: You have to answer this one, too. We're just trying to be fair.)
• Which animal did Winston Churchill look most like?

You do actually learn things from this book and it clears up a lot of misconceptions and lies that are used to indoctrinate teach American school kids. While it's obviously designed for bored middle school and high school kids, I think a lot of adults will enjoy it as well. Yes, it's basically reading a textbook. But it's a textbook with a sense of humor and an author who knows how to engage the reader.

Things I learned from reading this book:
-One of the past presidents may have been gay (and no, I don't mean Abe Lincoln). (And yes, this fact does make me cheer inside. :D)
-Czar Nicholas II of Russia and King George V of England look like they could be twins.
-Barney mugging and flapper slang are the bee's knees!
-Teddy Roosevelt's daughter, Alice, is cooler than you.
-Even though he ended up doing something ridiculously stupid, General Custer was a genius who made general by the age of twenty-three. I'm twenty-six and still have trouble getting motivated enough to do laundry.

I'm giving The Smart Aleck's Guide to American History 5 out of 5 Gabriels.

-Gabe

Fabbity Fab Fab: A Review of Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison

Title: Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson
Author: Louise Rennison
Edition: Hardcover (Harper Collins, 2000)
Pages: 247
How I Came By This Book: I picked this up at the library as part of Banned Books Week.

About the Author: Louise Rennison lives in Brighton, the San Francisco of England (apart from the sun, Americans, the Golden Gate Bridge, and earthquakes). Since the success of her one-woman autobiographical show, Stevie Wonder Felt My Face, she has written for many British comedy stars; currently she is a roving reporter and columnist and is working on two more books about Georgia. She has two goldfish, Finn and Bjork, who are her biggest fans. (from the book jacket)

Synopsis: In this wildly funny journal of a year in the life of Georgia Nicolson, British author Louise Rennison has perfectly captured the soaring joys and bottomless angst of being a teenager. In the spirit of Bridget Jones's Diary, this fresh, irreverent, and simply hilarious book will leave you laughing out loud. As Georgia would say, it's "Fabbity fab fab!"

Review: I have a confession to make. I was extremely unpopular in high school. And middle school. Hell, people probably didn't like me in elementary school either. Honestly, it wasn't until college that I really grew into myself and even then I was awkward. Still am, actually. Anyway, my point is, my extreme dislike of Catcher in the Rye led me to decide that I should read Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging as if I were still that awkward teenage girl. I pulled myself out of the "responsible adult" mentality that I'm trying (unsuccessfully) to cultivate in myself and made myself go mentally back in time to the days when I was a pimply, chubby fourteen-year-old girl wearing too much eyeliner and desperately trying to navigate the dangerous waters of high school. As traumatizing as that was, I think it helped me to love this book.

Georgia Nicolson is hilarious. She's a snarky fourteen-year-old with one goal in mind: she's going to land the sex god of her dreams, Robbie Jennings. In the meantime, she's going to fail miserably at everything, make tons of mistakes, and possibly die of embarrassment. I'm not usually a fan of books written like diaries, but Georgia's voice is fun and funny and reminds me a lot of me when I was her age. From the first page I was laughing hysterically and was dying to know what she'd get herself into next.

By making myself think about this book in terms of what my younger self would have thought about it, I found it a lot easier to sympathize with poor Georgia. I loved her cat, Angus, and the relationship that she had with her baby sister, Libby. I also liked her group of friends as I could remember my own clan of compadres in high school and how we all tried so hard to find ourselves despite how uncool our parents were. While I hadn't experienced all the things that Georgia does, I had had similar experiences, both the positives and the negatives. I'm guessing that a lot of girls who read this book, whether they are currently teenagers or not, can identify with the characters and their trials and tribulations.

There were a few things about this book that I didn't absolutely adore but that didn't really take away from my enjoyment of it. The plot of this book was kind of simple: a young girl tries to find love and has mishaps along the way. Apparently this is a ten book series, so maybe things get more complex along the way, what with her father being in New Zealand and all. Also, Georgia can be kind of bitchy, but I remember what I was like in high school and it was pretty much the same story. I think the only thing I wasn't really sure how I felt about was this whole Robbie thing considering that they barely knew each other and rarely interacted throughout the entire book. Still, I know what it's like to pine after someone you don't really know. We've all had those insane teenage crushes that we swore were true love, so I can kind of forgive Rennison for that.

In the end, it's the humor that really makes this book so great. Rennison is a really funny writer and I'm looking forward to reading some more of the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series. Georgia's voice is pretty true-to-life in that angsty teenager way and makes this book so much more interesting to read.

I'm giving Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging 4.5 out of 5 Gabriels.

-Gabe