Thursday, March 24, 2011

Wait...He's Up *How* Early?

Sports Illustrated has a filler feature that they call "Sign of the Apocalypse". It's basically a little blurb containing a news item about sports or other things that show how the world has gone to hell in a hand-basket. Today, I'm proposing that SI's latest sign of the Apocalypse should be the following:

I, Gabriel, was up by 6:00 this morning.

I wouldn't usually put Garfield on my blog
but I can't think of any other being in the
history of the world that is as much of
a non-morning person as I am.

Okay, granted, I haven't actually gotten out of bed yet, but I woke up and haven't fallen back to sleep and am actually sitting upright and doing something. And no one needed to use a crowbar to pry me from my pillow. An ominous sign indeed. This is the first morning that I'll be posting about something before my prescheduled 8 am post. Dark days are upon us, my friends. Repent now.

Okay, so now that I've gotten the facetiousness off my chest, this is really a post about how much I hate parking in the city and how it's absolutely ridiculous that I can't park outside of my apartment after 8 am. Seriously, what douche decided that that was a good idea? Instead, I have to park off on a side street somewhere at night OR I have to move my car before 8 o'clock or my car will turn into a pumpkin (compliments of the parking authority).

Last night when I got home there was no parking on either of the side streets that I usually park on so I was forced to park on the street my apartment is on. The only problem was that I knew I'd have to get up at the crack of dawn and move my car. Hence the reason why I'm posting at 7 am. And I'm not too happy about it.

The angel Gabriel is thought to herald the end of time by
showing off his latest tune on this lovely horn. That horn
is actually probably my car horn, which will sound as
my head hits the wheel in exhaustion this morning.

If I was ruler of the world (and someday it will happen), I'd rewrite parking laws so that they *gasp* actually benefited the citizens instead of penalizing them for every little thing they do. If you lived in an apartment building, you could actually park in front of it, instead of watching that spot right near your front door get taken by some stranger who lives on the other side of the city and is just stopping by the Kwik-E-Mart. Yes, I'm bitter and no, I don't care. Parking laws are stupid, especially if they make me have to get up early in the morning.



  1. You want to hear another ridiculous law?

    Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. - Florida

    Just so you know, don't do that in Florida.

  2. Damn, and I'd already bought my gown *and* my ticket. :(

  3. Lol. For a smart kid you're pretty funny.