Wednesday, May 4, 2011

30 Day Book Challenge: Day Seventeen (prescheduled)

So Many Books, So Little Time is hosting the 30 Day Book Challenge. Each day for 30 days I'll be answering one question about books.

Day Seventeen: The most over-hyped book you have ever read

I want to preface this by saying that I was coerced into reading this book. A friend of mine, Amanda, wanted to go see the movie and told me that if I could find it in my heart to accompany her that she would pay for my ticket. And, "Oh," she said, "you might want to read the book before you go." Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

What book am I talking about? This piece of crap:

Oooh, look. Symbolism.

Let's put aside the fact that he sparkles, stalks his girlfriend, and is pretty much the worst vampire ever. Let's also put aside the fact that she has no personality, thinks everyone hates her when really she's the world's biggest Mary Sue, and is pretty much the most boring person ever. Let's also put aside the fact that there's a ton of spelling and grammar mistakes, the writing is repetitive, and the plot is duller than a butter knife.

Oh, wait. There's really nothing more to say.

I get that people like this book. I do. There are things that I like that people can't stand and I respect their decision to hate those things. I feel that I should get the same respect when it comes to my burning hatred of all things Twilight. Instead, I get responses like "Oh mi gawd, how can you not like Twilight? It's, like, the best book ever." No. No, it is not.

There are a lot of books out there in the world and 99% of them are better than Twilight. Don't believe me? Try reading Austen or Dickens or Adams or Pratchett or Vonnegut or.... You get the picture. I'll say one thing for Twilight though. The one book I've read that I think it's better than is Wuthering Heights. Holy cheese on a stick was that book bad. And Heathcliff makes Edward Cullen look like the world's perfect boyfriend.

So, way to go Stephanie Meyers. I may hate your novels but at least you know that if the only two books left on the planet were Twilight and Emily Bronte's mess of a novel, I'd choose you, Pikachu.

-Gabe

2 comments:

  1. ROFL!"Pikachu" really did me in. I was trying to hold back the laughter and not actually Laugh-Out-Loud...but I failed miserably. And obviously I agree 100% even with Wuthering Heights...I hated that book. It's like the one thing that my mother and I disagree on (when it comes to books). She loves the story...Weird woman.

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  2. The funny thing is that I never actually played or watched Pokemon. My sister had some of the cards when we were younger but I didn't get into it. I just have too many friends who were and I sort of picked up the phrase.

    Wuthering Heights was such a chore to read. The only reason I forced myself to get through it was so that I could check it off of the 1001 Books to Read Before You Die list. I didn't get one ounce of enjoyment out of it.

    My mother hated Great Expectations. I lost a little respect for her after that. LOL

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