Wild Card Wednesday!

It's Wednesday and that means that it's once again time for Wild Card Wednesday, hosted by yours truly. Every Wednesday I'll be posting a prompt that requires bloggers to use both their imaginations and what they read to answer it. Your answers can be in any form you like and they don't even have to make a whole lot of sense. The point is to have fun!

If you'd like to participate, just add a link to your Wild Card Wednesday post in the linking tool below.

This week's prompt is: You're the casting director for a film based on something that you've read in the last month (novel, short story, biography, news article, cereal box, etc.) Who would your dream cast be?


My answer:

My film is based on one of the short stories in Neil Gaiman's collection entitled Smoke and Mirrors. The story is called "We Can Get Them for You Wholesale" and it's about an unremarkable man named Peter Pinter who can't turn down a bargain. After finding out that his fiancée, Gwendolyn Thorpe, is cheating on him, he looks in the phone book for an assassin to kill the man she's shagging, Archibald Gibbons, and finds one listed under "Pest Control." He meets with the company's sales rep, Burton Kemble, and finds out that he can get a two-for-one deal. So he decides to have Gwen killed, too. And then Kemble tells him about their special bulk rate. Soon Peter finds himself trying to think of all the people he'd like killed and still Kemble offers him deal after deal until...well, read the story already and you can find out for yourself. It's hilarious.

Cast:

Peter Pinter -- Chris O'Dowd

Why: Anyone who has seen the brilliant British comedy The IT Crowd will know that this guy plays a nerdy, awkward guy so well. I'm guessing he's a little old to play Peter (although the story never mentions his age, his fiancée is 23), but since when did movies worry about trivial little things like that? The only real issue is that Peter's described as being and speaking very proper. O'Dowd, who's from Ireland, has an accent that might be a little too "not English," but it's my cast so it's my rules. :)




Burton Kemble -- Michael Palin

Why: While it actually took me a while to think of someone to play Peter, the minute Burton Kemble was introduced in the story, the first person that popped into my head was Michael Palin. In fact, I mentioned it in my review of the book. Many of his characters in various Monty Python's Flying Circus sketches remind me so much of this character that it's almost typecasting, but I found that these were some of my favorite Palin roles. He does the semi-sleazy but convincing salesman so well.

Gwendolyn Thorpe -- Emma Watson

Why: Neither Gwen nor Archibald are actually seen in the story, they are only talked about. The way that I see this film being, however, is that it expands on the story, which is just over ten pages, and shows more background and character interaction. Watson is only a few years younger than Gwen is supposed to be and she has that sweet yet sexy nature that would make it realistic for Peter, who is positive that she's cheating on him but doesn't want to blame her at first, to eventually come to see her as someone who should be killed as well.


Archibald Gibbons -- David Anders

Why: The only thing that's really said about Archie in terms of looks is that he's a young man. Anders is only about thirty and I consider that to be young (although he's about five years older than I am). Besides, he's insanely attractive and I like the idea of Peter actually having a reason to be jealous of him (even if it would be funnier if Archie weren't handsome at all). There is, of course, the fact that, despite constantly being cast as a Brit (Alias, Heroes), he's not actually British. He's from Oregon. But you would never know it. In the fifth season of Alias, his character, Sark, pretended to American for an episode called "Bob." He said in an interview that a woman came up to him and told him that his American accent had sounded so fake. She was floored when he told her that he was from the U.S. and that it was his British accent that was the fake. So, I think we can safely overlook his being the only American in the cast.

-Gabe